Haha, just out of curiosity do you work at that Joe's Legal Eagle firm off of Delaware? That was always a funny location and the 'might-be-a-biker-gang' sign on the building makes it even better.

I'm not sure if proofreading is acceptable here or what, but this jumped out at me:

"I need to meet some chicks." I complained to him.
"Get an escort," he snapped back.
"I'm fucking destitute," I protested.
"Take out a bar review course loan," he replied, dryly.

Get rid of everything that isn't between quotes. Never use anything other than "said" or "asked" and don't use adverbs ("dryly"); it distracts the reader.

That said, this was an excellent piece. You are a very talented writer, and I look forward to more from you in the future.

I really connected with this post, keep up the good work I enjoyed it. This is kind of one of those things that has always in the back of my head and I was wondering if anyone else felt the same way. The way you describe being a 10% and wanting to care but not being able to is exactly right.

Thank you for describing the ten-percenter. I've been wondering for the last 2 years why I felt so different from everyone else in vet school and only clicked with a handful of my classmates and now I know!

Resonates 100%.
I read this instead of studying for Australian Public Law exam. Gag.

Nice work.

the description of a ten-percenter sounds a lot like a sociopath

I would like to think of myself as a ten percenter but that could just be wishfull thinking on my part because the other 90% sound like the kind of people you would wish flesh eating bacteria on. I am however a stoner thus excluded from the ten percent by your decree, but I do not live the dumbass "stoner" lifestyle so I think I merit an exception.

The pop-ups that keep coming up are extremely annoying.

So I guess now people that are just social outcasts and general losers or what have you are now going to be ten percenters, fuck me. Not to say there is no such thing as a ten percenter, I've met plenty of people that would qualify as such, and a few too many that sound a little too much like that guy Alex you describe, though not nearly as good at getting 25 tabs of acid (anymore). It just seems like it'll be a new buzz-word to be, at least amongst the circles that have happened upon this site.

Can't wait for the next entry though, this shit is hilarious.

Who does this Anthony jackass think he is? "Never use anything other than 'said' or 'asked'" is something a 3rd grade English teacher who is bitter about their failed life would say.

"Said," "complained," and "protested" all mean completely different things, and serve to give the exchange a much more natural feel when read. When I complain I sound drastically different then when I simply say something.

I think 90% of the population would consider themselves a ten-percenter - no one ever claims to be just another face in the crowd.

Anthony, your feeblemindedness astounds me. Verbs and words besides "said" and "asked" show creativity and create texture in writing, thus further engrossing the reader. The way you suggest writing would make 14 year old goths go crazy but in the real world talking verbs and adverbs show depth and something other than surface-level brain activity.

Thanks, you smug moron. You've stupidified a previously somewhat intelligent audience.

"Listening to her was like slowly turning the dial on a radio playing at full blast."

Brilliant.

YOU. Post more...Now.

fuckin fantastic stories, as a cop, I love hearing about attorneys' miseries

That Anthony kid needs to shut his mouth.

Anthony drinks his own pee

There's never anything wrong with constructive criticism.

A brilliant post. Just brilliant. When will you be releasing a book?

How you descride how the weekend can go is right on point. It can either be one of the single greaest experiences of your life one the saddest. Truely the best descriptive writing I have seen for awhile, Cannot wait to see what happens next!

Constructive criticism? Alright, I wasn't gonna do this because I hate spending the time and energy to argue about meaningless shit but whatever, here goes.

Why would you proofread material that is primarily meant for the entertainment of the reader? PhilaLawyer isn't turning this in for a grade. Do you really think he is going to give a shit about what some overly-critical webfag thinks is wrong with his writing? I just don't understand what type of satisfaction people get from doing this. This guy is a perfect example of someone who mistakes what they think is right for what they know is true.

'"I need to meet some chicks." I complained to him.
"Get an escort," he snapped back.
"I'm fucking destitute," I protested.
"Take out a bar review course loan," he replied, dryly.
Get rid of everything that isn't between quotes. Never use anything other than "said" or "asked" and don't use adverbs ("dryly"); it distracts the reader.

Really? How could that be distracting? It gives you a feel for the flow of the conversation and some insight into the demeanor of the characters that you're reading/learning about. Besides, has anyone ever read a book/novel that didn't have descriptive dialogue. If I had to read a story that only used 'said' or 'asked' I would become bored to the point that I would masturbate on every page to make them stick and never worry about having the option to open it again.

My other point about "people who mistake what they think is right for what they know is true", is just about the fact that this guy's critiques are all stated matter-of-factly, when they're really just his opinion. Because he prefers or was taught that you shouldn't use anything besides 'said' or 'asked', he really believes or "knows" that what he "thinks" is right, is actually a set-in-stone fact that can't be argued against. Kinda like the concept of God, people are always arguing that they know there is a God, while others argue that they know there isn't. You can't prove either argument, it's completely out of our realm, it's faith-based. Some people will like PhilaLawyer's dialogue's while others, like Anthony, will find it "distracting", whatever that means.

Bottom line, that kid is a douche. I "KNOW" it.

Very solid post. I hope you can keep up this posting pace, I can't wait for the next installment.

The Ten Percenter thing makes a lot of sense. I imagine that's why I always feel so disconnected from people.

Great post. It really pulled me in. I can't wait for more.

Holy shit anthony...get a life. Notice I didn't capitalize your name...Douchebag<---cuz this is your new name.

Good to finally hear some quality shit put back out on the internet. As it has already been said, you are an amazingly gifted writer. The weekend simile is dead on. I'll be expectantly waiting for your next post.

Come on buddy. ten percenter is great. it was great the first time around too. all this stuff was sitting on your blogspot site for over a year until a week ago. we've been waiting for a year to read your next installment. is it too much to ask for to get at least a little something new. maybe the part three of hat trick that was promised about a year ago...

Steve's right, 90% of the world do think they're 10%-ers. Fact is, most people aren't unique snowflakes, or delicate flowers. It's a comforting thought, but sadly untrue.

On the nitpicking front, I enjoyed the writing, but thought a lot of the detail was just too much. I read four LONG paragraphs on Kas, and then more detail later in the story.

I could picture EXACTLY who Kas was after two paragraphs. Same goes for some of the other detail, especially character descriptions.

Although as was said before, this probably isn't the place for rewviews.

Welcome back, sir. Missed you while you were away. Always thought "Ten Percenter" was your "Free Bird." Looking forward to the new s--t.

Anthony = brilliant troll.

As Hunter S. Thompson would say, ride this strange torpedo out to the end.
I'm really enjoying your postings, they're beginning to feel comfortable and established, so stay with it. It's great to read someone else who understands the weekends the same way I do, who recognizes the ten-percenters. I'm glad I'm in the club.

Loved the story.

Could people quit fucking critiquing the man's writing?!! This is a blog, not English class!

Can't wait for future posts. I will send you some blow if it helps you write.

Peace.

yeah at first i did think the Kas thing was kinda long, and i skipped it and finished the story, but then i read it over again and realized it does contribute to the story at least a bit. I think hes the best writer iv seen for a long time. I read the weekend thing and kind of agreed, until this weekend when on sunday i remembered what he said. It is exactly correct on the dot, he has a way with words. everything else is described well too.

"The weekend is like a bottle rocket. The only thing you know is it starts with the bottle. From there, its direction, its trajectory, its destination, that's anybody's guess."

That is absolute gold. Glad you're back, keep it up.

Hillarious, but more like 1 percent.

I didn't read all of the existing comments, but I'm pretty sure that it was implied: To be a 10-Percenter, you (have to?) think for yourself. Generic "losers" are generally unaware of many social concepts, whereas it seems 10-percenters just A) don't give a shit or B) get off on it.

no. ten percenters have ABSOLUTELY NO CHOICE in what they are, who they are, HOW they think.

I myself know because, in a sense, I am a ONE percenter due to being brought up without a television.

Reminds me a lot of Chuck Palahnuik. One of the best writers, in my opinion. I can't explain how.. You just think and write like him.

Very good. I like the explanation of the Ten Percenters. I know what you mean - I'm one. Unfortunately, I have never met another one.

Jesus, how many of you are lined up to suck this guy's cock? Anthony's fucking right. Usually authors are supposed to avoid saying stuff like "he shouted" "he yelled" etc, because any emotional impact ought to be conveyed in the words itself.

The fact that so many of you jumped down his throat for offering constructive criticism, even though he simultaneously applauded the post, is unbe-fucking-lievable. It's like the average teenage loser who flies into a rage whenever someone criticizes his favorite band.

i graduated in may and just started my 'real life job'...its good to see im not the only one who lives for the weekends

"I'm friendly, cordial and polite. I'll make pleasant small talk. I might laugh a few times and even say something that sounds inspired, possibly really funny. But I'm phoning it in. To see me operate on a full capacity, you'd have to run into me on a day off, outside of the office, when my personality returns."

Amazingly real. I try to get through the hum-drum of everyday life without strangling anyone. Good to hear that we're not alone...